none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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