She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize