thus making me awesome and them whores
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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