But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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