did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The best revenge is premature balding
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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