Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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