Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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