Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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