come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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