You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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