How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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