i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize