got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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