your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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