If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize