You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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