my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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