hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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