OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize