Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
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i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
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My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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