You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize