just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize