yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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