I think i peed on brittanys purse
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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