All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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