my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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