I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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