dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize