im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
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If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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