if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
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At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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