Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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