Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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