fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
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An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
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I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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