im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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