sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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