I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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