we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize