i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize