I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
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I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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