it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize