if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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