I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize