my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize