Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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