whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Drunk is not a location!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize