I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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