Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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