Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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(713): View more from Texas

Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other

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(573): View more from Missouri

My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.

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(714): View more from California

My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.

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