I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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