remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize